Listen at Your Own Risk

The other day I was browsing the hair products in Target with my sister. I saw a pink bottle of curl scrunching spray and said, "Oh look! Squirrel crunching spray!"

This was not on purpose.

This was my brain's lazy-ass attempt at speech. The more stressed I get, the worse it gets. Sometimes I will develop a lisp that lasts half a sentence. Other times, I try to say two things at once and get "borrible" (horrible + bad) or "nood" (good + nice). And still other times I stutter or stop mid sentence because my brain decides to put on the screen saver. It's embarrassing.

Moral of the story: more sleep plus less stress makes for easier listening.

I'm a jerk.

No really, I am a jerk. For the first time in a long time, I am seeing the past with unclouded eyes. Mostly, I've been ruminating over my past relationship and WHOA.

I had it all wrong. I messed up big time.

I see this now, but there's nothing to do with it. How can I change what already happened? I can't. All I can do is use this newfound insight to make the 'now' better.

Sigh. What's a recovering jerk to do?