Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Chocolate is deceiving.

I've been suffering from writer's block lately, or at least that's the excuse I use. Whatever the excuse, it's keeping me from the one thing that keeps me sane. Maybe I'm afraid of what's going to appear on the paper once I give myself space to think. Maybe I'm tired of it because when I sit to write, my mind and fingers get disconnected and I stare dumbly at the screen until I give up and just read a book. Or maybe I don't write because when I let my heart in on the writing action, my fingers take off and pretty soon I have pages and pages of things I'd rather not think about.

Just thinking about it makes me stressed. And stress makes me crave chocolate. Speaking of which... I'm an addict to these little Dove dark chocolates that come with little sayings hidden in the wrappers. One piece of "advice" I keep getting over and over is this: "Follow your heart - it will never steer you wrong." Um, yeah. That's a bunch of crap. It's because of my heart that I get into so much trouble and wind up in such existential angst. My heart often has a mind of it's own, and it rarely cares what the rational side of my brain has to say. And since I usually keep my true feelings and thoughts cooped up in my heart all the time, when it does decide to speak, there's no stopping it. My heart is idealistic, irrational, whimsical, demanding, and oh-so naive, which is why I tell it to shut up so often. Maybe too often.

I'm sure there's a lesson in all this, which I'll be sure to mull over some other time. As for now, the only advice I can take away from Dove (and this blog) is this: don't listen to chocolate.

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